Celebrity Leprechaun Stories

I drew this cartoon on a whim after being annoyed by the show Celebrity Ghost Stories. Yes, my wife watches the stupid show because she likes the “stories.” I actually like ghost stories too, as long as they are fiction or legend and not some ailing star from a long lost sitcom trying to recover fame by telling a lame haunting story. “Real” ghost stories are boring and obnoxious because it is based on personal experience and hearsay that are no better than waking dreams or gossip. Did you really see a ghost? Or are you just making shit up? Or are you even remembering what you saw?

I have always contended that if you believe you see ghosts than stop using the word “ghost.” They are something else found in the natural world. Ghosts are supernatural. What makes you think you can even perceive the supernatural with your plain ol’ natural eyes or physical equipment? Everything we measure using science is natural and there is no way to weasel around the definitions. If it is the supernatural, you have no way of knowing it or studying it while you are alive and restrained by nature. And if a ghost is part of the natural world or becomes part of the natural world than it isn’t supernatural? Cryptozoology would be a better field for trying to explain vaporous creatures who like to make doors shut and tip over chairs. It’s doubtful the unexplained cold draft in the room is your Auntie Edna. And by the way, weird shit just means it’s weird shit. Doors do close by themselves–happens in my upstairs bedroom all the time. Must it be a ghost? Is your life that dull?

If we’re going to do ghost stories, why not leprechauns? The reason is they are not fashionable. At one time people claimed to see all kinds of creatures from fairies to ghosts to witches. Ghosts seemed to have survived the ridicule but it’s time to roll our eyes again. Did you see a ghost? Really? Did your publicist advise you to dramatically retell it on national TV? Good for you, but you’re still not getting that part on Two and a Half Men

Where are the celebrities who will just come on camera and say it’s all just a bunch of horseshit? If you want to create some excitement in your life at least focus on aliens–in theory they’re tangible. We might actually considering believing you if you’ll present some real evidence of an abduction.

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