EBay Denies Heaven is a Place

NBC News has a story about Ari Mandel who tried to sell real estate in heaven as a joke and wounded up with bids that reached $100,000.  He might have gotten more until eBay shut him down quoting their policy that he can’t sell intangibles:

“We don’t allow listings that aren’t offering anything for sale or those that have intangible items (generally things don’t physically exist).”

Certainly that leaves out heaven being a literal place, not that Ari would have had rights to sell real estate there anyways–unless he heard voices from god or brokering angels.

If one objects to the idea of denying heaven as a physical place because it is a spiritual concept, there has been an ongoing debate over time if Heaven is real or not and what “real” means in terms of the afterlife. Is it all just a metaphor or do you literally sit in a place of perfection called heaven? And if you have a nonphysical body how do you enjoy our physical senses: touch, taste, hear, smell? Because they are needed to enjoy music, art, food and sex. Sex apparently will be eliminated in heaven because it is dirty and God isn’t into procreation in the afterlife (no family values).

We’re also to assume that with differing riches built up in heaven there will be no vice or jealousy towards one another? One man’s mansion is just as satisfactory as another man’s larger mansion. One woman’s shoe collection is just as satisfactory as another woman’s larger shoe collection.

I think if the Catholic Church needs money to pay off all their lawsuits they could start up by selling indulgences again but use the eBay model. They are God’s representative on earth, why couldn’t they auction off a nice place in heaven? Or even a comfortable position in hell, like the guy who sorts the mail or the woman who answers email complaints as a mild torture.

 

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