Shut the Front Door Oreo Offensiveness

I overheard a conversation the other day about an Oreo commercial that was upsetting conservative Christians because they figured the commercial was basically getting away with saying, “Shut the fuck up!” by saying “Shut the front door!” instead. More stupidity from super sensitive people who would ban the word darn (which really means damn) if they could.

The protest group in question is One Million Moms and you can read a blog post on it at They started an email campaign against Nabisco/Kraft because of this commercial. Surprise, surprise, if you go to their website who do they happen to be affiliated with but The American Family Association–a bunch of bigots who would rather have us go back to the dark ages of gays in the closet and women subservient to men (per The Bible) instead of  progressing forward. The list of targets on the site includes: NBC for the new Playboy Club show, Procter & Gamble for a Febreze commercial  because someone says, “Oh my God,” and Zappos for nude models in their “More Than Shoes” campaign.

“Oh my fuckin’ God!” what a waste of time. Is this what conservative uptight Christians bring to the table? Protests against trivial issues while the economy is in the shit and people are losing jobs, not to mention the new famine in Somalia. Is this how shallow The American Family Association is? Even if Christianity is true how does this save souls? Seems to fall in step with the legalism of the Pharisees who couldn’t see the bigger picture.

Well, goddammit (and I’m purposefully peppering this post with colorful language), I happen to love Oreos because they’re one of the few store-bought cookies that doesn’t have dairy and I’m lactose intolerant to the extreme. Now I can’t have the new product they’re pushing in the “Shut the Front Door “ad because Oreo Fudge Cremes I believe do have dairy (damn! damn! damn!), but I plan to pick up a box of good ol’ fashioned Oreos tomorrow just to spite the fuckin’ One Million Moms and The American Family Association. Oreos aren’t just for kids and frankly, we’re all using euphemisms to be polite to sensitive uptights like the One Million Moms. Maybe we shouldn’t extend that consideration anymore so people could get used to sound the word “fuck” makes–after all, how do you get to be a mom? By fucking!

BTW: The people I overheard talking about this Oreo commercial were all working moms and they thought One Million Moms were being stupid and should get a life. I couldn’t agree more. This petty behavior disguised as morality.

24 thoughts on “Shut the Front Door Oreo Offensiveness

  1. This makes me want to go out and buy a couple of packs of Oreos, and I’m not even supposed to be eating the goddamn things.

  2. my question is: what do these million moms say when they actually want someone to shut the front door???? maybe they just leave it open so they don’t offend????

  3. Oh yes. Let’s blast and make fun of the people that don’t consider “fuck” an every day word. All the while, let’s talk about how “Christians” are intolerant. Does anyone see a “fucking” contradiciton here? What a horrible thing it is that some people can have conversations without cursing like an idiot with a smaller vocabulary than their IQ.

  4. The assumption that people who converse with the word “fuck” have a low IQ is a dumb assumption. The conversation might be uncivil according to our politeness standards but that’s about it. This is usually related to a class bias (the uneducated poor like to swear so the word fuck = low IQ).

    Some of the smartest and most talented people like to litter their conversations with the word “fuck.” It may be annoying to some, but it is not an indicator of intelligence. “Fuck” is an every day word unless you are so closeted that you don’t actually talk to every day people–even I knew that when I was a Christian. The word is also no indicator on whether someone actually is Christian either as I have heard numerous Christians use the word.

    As far as intolerant Christians, yes. The Christians referred to in this article are intolerant. Period. Other more moderate Christians, no. The blast is not so much at the word “fuck” but the sensitivity at even a polite replacement phrase like “shut the front door.”

  5. So using a euphemism for “fuck” is bad, but it’s OK that the Bible uses “begat” and “knew.” I’m afraid I don’t see much of a difference.

  6. Let’s be honest: shut the front door DOES mean shut the fuck up. I don’t agree withOne Million Moms philosophy AT ALL, but they’re correct in this case. It’s a way for Oreo to get around the no swearing rule, and sound ‘edgy’ while doing it. Do I think it’s a big deal? No. Do I think it is worthy of a letter writing campaign or boycott? No. It just makes them look silly, which they are.

    But even silly people are correct, sometimes.

  7. One thing these hypocrites over look is their damning things, gossip.. and all around strife is more upsetting to God than the word fuck would be. Because damning things and manipulating others is akin to witchcraft in the bible whereas name calling, outbursts of emotion.. is not.

  8. I’m always amused at the concern of Christians and the use of the word FUCK. I mean it was actually them that created that word to begin with. One only has to look to history to see that the word is an acronym meaning Fornication Under Consent of the King. Yes, their one and only King James had ordered this. You see, just like the church today, they wanted to control people, and when the wanted to share their love for one another. The problem with the control at that time was exactly how to do it. The paper thin walls, or the cracks in the logs must have let out the screams of passion too easily. Well, good King James decided that no one could fornicate with his consent, or they would be put to death. So if a husband and wife wanted to share in a little carnal after-noon delight, (but only for baby making) they had to have his express permission, via a signed consent form with the letters F.U.C.K. posted to the door. So you see, the next time you hear the word FUCK, you can thank the nearest christian for the lovely word, because it was the acronym that their King James (yes, the bible one) came up with. How some can think that it lowers one’s IQ by using the word in a sentence is beyond me, considering you know have the education behind it’s real, and true meaning.
    “Fornication Under Consent of the King” – – – -> F.U.C.K.

  9. My biggest problem with this is simply that they’re complaining about polite alternatives to swear words. Were they actually saying “shut the fuck up” I could see the reason for complaints, but “shut the front door” is a cute alternative.

    Would OMM like to do away with “gosh,” “fudge,” “shoot,” “darn,” and all the other socially acceptable alternatives? There’s a point where you have to draw the line, and I think OMM lost sight of that point miles back.

  10. The story that F.U.C.K. stands for ‘Fornication Under Consent of the King’ is almost certainly not true. Nor is it an acronym of ‘For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.’. The word comes from an Old Norse word for penis. Can we get back to the subject here?

    I have never likes Oreos. I’m gonna buy some tomorrow anyway.

  11. Isn’t there better things you could be complaining about??? seriously I mean shut the front door already! First you’re blaming Ellen Degeneres for people being gay now this??? You know what, I’m gay and it’s all because I ate some skittles, tasted the rainbow, and found out I’m gay!!! how convenient is that! please leave people alone if you’re concerned about the children and the little ears and eyes then parents do the world a favor and don’t let you’re children watch it or hear it. But don’t take it out on all those around us who are happy being gay or seriously oreos??? what about orbit!!! It isn’t like there teaching you how to actually cuss, it’s a “cleaner mouth” lint lickers!!! people kill me…

  12. I highly recommend that every time an advertiser Caves to this group of narrow-minded belief throat shovers, you should contact that advertiser and tell them you represent Tens of millions of rational thinking people, and are disgusted that they would pay the bigots heed. I recently did this with Kellogg’s after theypled ads from Modern Family (due to an episode involving the toddler girl uttering a swear word that’s not even heard), at the request of OMM. No more Rice Krispies for me.

  13. I see the director of OMM as a meany-mouth social climber who’s actions are not concern on what she peceives as moral decline, but actions centered around her need for control over other people. This is a group that deserves no respect for attempting to get a person fired based on the person’s PRIVATE sexual preferences. They are now throwing up the persecution flag and having a hissy fit because they did not get their way. They claim JCP is hanging up on them rather than face the issue at hand. Yet, OMM finds nothing wrong with them deleting or blocking opposing views.

  14. Who said you had to be tolerant of stupidity? This idea that we have to be tolerant of “everything” or “everyone’s views”–that’s actually a stupid view too, in my opinion. It’s one of my growing pet peeves.

    I try to separate stupidity from smart people whenever possible, because smart people can say stupid things. But the stupidity itself, no, we don’t need to be tolerant of stupidity.

    In this case, reader comments are being intolerant of “intolerance” as displayed by One Million Moms. People like to cry intolerance a lot these days to make themselves the victim–an easy out. Instead, I would like to see people defend their position. I can’t learn anything from this last comment.

  15. I think being offended by the commercial in question is THE perfect example of “missing the point”. I’m not even an Oreo fanatic nor do I work for any advertising agency but there are SO many points to this commercial that it’s funny that the ones offended by it missed everyone of them. They actually didn’t need a commercial in the 1st place because God only knows how many people buy the original so surely the new version is within eye sight of the classic. As it points out in the commercial, just about everyone loves Oreo’s if only just a little bit. The new Oreo is yet another international thumbs up for the company that makes them. The mother in the commercial, like everyone else in the commercial, is amazed to the point that she is powerless & can’t help herself so realizing her kids are in the room but feeling compelled to react she says SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!, rather than the obvious. Being offended by a “mom” who you can see clearly thinks before she speaks is more silly than the commercial. It makes me wonder how many “offended” people went straight to YouTube to purposely watch that commercial to double-check. It’s like going to a strip club on Saturday night & preaching on the evils of pornography & the sex industry on Sunday morning. So how many front doors have YOU shut recently?

  16. Let me explain something, I am too busy to care what this saying means, I am a two job Christian mom and I could care less what the real meaning is, they did not say the bad word, which is a license to fornicate, but the one part you did not understand is that women had to give the king their virginity in order to marry a man. So now that I have said my piece. Shut the front door and give me some Oreos.

  17. I’ll bet the people who are complaining use racial and ethnic slurs and jokes. I don’t.

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