Silly Christian Rock Album Covers

I understand that you can find bad album cover art in any genre, but these Christian rock albums are prize winners. Note to any musician putting out their own indie release, consult a professional graphic designer. It will save you tears later.

Literalism taken much too far.

 

Groovy Judy is groovy high on either Jesus or crack…probably both.

 

It’s okay, we already know.

 

If he’s real, why are you using an illustration?

 

Do they tap dance too? I looked up pictures of this Christian ska band. Not one black member. Someone should have said something.

 

This is John Schlitt’s mentally unstable half-brother.  (BTW: if you don’t know who John Schlitt is he’s the lead singer of Petra.) Joe Schlitt is a family secret for several reasons including using the phrase “song man of message music.”

 

And this is Gallagher’s stable brother. And yes, he was once black, but after living in Seattle several years…

 

Not the best promotion of abstinence.

 

This, however, does a great job of promoting what appears to be a rapist.

 

Teabagger?

 

Definitely a teabagger. Just what the world needs, another crusade but with guitars instead of swords–“I’m gonna rock the hell outta you, Muslims!”

 

I’ve posted this one before but it’s one of my favorites. Didn’t anyone review the cover art? The guy in the middle is thinking, “Wait, SOB? That means son of a bitch! Stop the presses!”

 

Most respectful picture of Jesus I’ve ever seen.

 

Gay? Or just confused? (And yes, they are a Christian band. I was around early enough to see one of them play in Gecko Monks, a local Christian band in Seattle. Good music, bad cover art.)

 

Rejected from American Idol!

 

Bye bye modernism and rationality!

 

You might think this is in reference to Daniel and the Lion’s Den. Actually, it’s about Aslan getting rabies.

4 thoughts on “Silly Christian Rock Album Covers

  1. To the writer of this website: I’m curious to why exactly some of your comments are so clearly race and homosexual-act centered. Is this an attempt at comedy or an indication of your own insecurities about your own prejudices? I’m always surprised how many people left of center shoot everything they see and hear through race colored glasses in this post racial world. I was born in 1975, grew up in Texas, and I never was exposed to this kind of hyper race/sex/class/homosexual centered talk until I discovered the democratic party. You see an album cover and say something about black people and tap dancing? What is it in you that causes such a reaction? It’s a sad commentary. . .

  2. Clearly, you are misinterpreting the sarcasm. I’m very familiar with racial depictions and I would never release an album cover that looked like a bigoted image from 30s to 40s cartoons (thus the reference to tap dancing, another ignorant expectation that black people could only be dancers). It may not have been intentional on the part of the band, but that’s the point–it was a bad choice.

    As for Tragedy Ann, get a sense of humor. I have numerous gay friends, some stereotypical (flaming) and some not, but if that band doesn’t look like they came from a gay bar, well, I don’t know what to tell ya. Try typing gay leather into Google and you’ll get a clue. Or try listening to Judas Priest, hellbent on leather, which we now know Rob Halford is gay (after having millions of straight stoners rocking out to his music).

    I have no idea what the Democratic Party comment means. What cause I poked fun of some possible conservative singers. Doesn’t really enter into this conversation. These album covers were just humorously bad. I’d make fun of a liberal one too if I found one.

  3. I was raised in an extremely conservative Baptist home, and I am gay. It was a very difficult time for me in 7th, 8th grade, and especially in high school, since I knew I was gay, but I couldn’t dare come out to my family until I could move away on my own.

    I’ve always been into leather. My parents bought me a leather jacket when I was in 6th grade, and the things I would do in that jacket when they weren’t home– wow. Anyways, I knew I had to hide my sexuality from them, but I wanted an excuse to wear leather pants, so I got a motorcycle as soon as I could legally drive, and then I got my first pair of leather pants and I could wear them out in public and have an excuse to do that. Why do gay men like leather? It is just so sexually stimulating and if you have a good looking body, it makes you look even sexier.

    Anyways, when I saw Tragedy Ann’s cover photo with most of them in leather pants, I immediately bought that CD, back in high school. When my mom asked about it, I said, hey this is a Christian rock band. It’s amazing how clueless my family was about me being gay.

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