The good news about this Christian movie called The Waiting Game is that it may actually be funny, I found myself laughing at the trailer despite an obviously low budget (but then I like low budget films, more personal and sincere). The bad news is that it is fixated on abstinence, and we’re not talking about teen abstinence, the main character looks to be in his thirties.
I honestly do not care if you’re a virgin or if you have multiple sexual relationships each year–be safe and be happy. Insisting someone has to have sex is just as bad as insisting someone has to remain abstinent until marriage. Ideally speaking, couples in sexual relationships can often be happier because sex is one of our human needs and therefore if you’re a single guy left out in the cold waiting for your God-chosen soulmate you are usually miserable–especially when you keep waiting and waiting and letting opportunities pass you by. Opportunities like that perfectly cute atheist girl who despite your male-dominated religious views still likes you and wants to go out, but you can’t because you’ll be “unequally yoked.”
I don’t believe in soulmates, I believe in dating until you find someone compatible. Having sex along the way is part of that process. It’s a really flawed belief in our culture that “saving yourself” for marriage = purity. How many people could have saved themselves a bad marriage by having sex before they tied the knot. The reason is, some men and women are in sync up until they get to the bedroom and then it all falls apart. Better to find that out before having to pay all of the legal fees required by divorce proceedings, not to mention having kids.
It’s just sex and we make it far too complicated because at one time women were considered property (thus our concept of purity, who wants a used woman–we like to buy “new”). Yes, there are too many irresponsible people out there doing it, but for the rest of us who are responsible marriage is not required if we so choose. And what is marriage? A legal document by the state or your commitment to another human being? I’ve been living in sin with the same woman for 15 years–is that impure?
In an article on The Waiting Game from Chron.com, Rich Praytor of Onslaught Media, the company behind the film, says that they know Christians watch sex comedies like The 40-Year-Old Virgin and therefore they wanted to write material that did not ridicule “adult virgins.” There are some comedies that are very harsh on virginity, but The 40-Year-Old Virgin is one movie I recommend because of its tender nature. Raunchy, yes, but the reason it was successful is we have sympathy for the main character and many of us that did have to wait past our teens can relate to the sexual frustration.
Another unique aspect of this film is that it is following in the footsteps of its secular counterparts. Ted Haggard makes an appearance with some sexual advice which was influenced by Mike Tyson appearing in The Hangover. If you don’t know who Ted Haggard is, he was a leading figure in evangelical Christianity until he was caught with another guy. Per Wiki: “In November 2006, escort and masseur Mike Jones alleged that Haggard had paid Jones to engage in sex with him for three years and had also purchased and used crystal methamphetamine. A few days later Haggard resigned from all of his leadership positions.”
Wow, I wonder if that is the right move for a Christian movie? A risky move to use a fallen evangelical superstar, but a brave one considering the movie is about sex. This movie is on my list to see. Love the “bro” talk while playing Wii.
SIDENOTE: So if you have prayed to God to give you a soulmate and she leaves you standing at the altar like the scene in this movie, what does that tell you about prayer? All it really means is we make some bad decisions in choosing who we live our lives with and I know some Christians will not divorce despite a bad marriage because of the stigma. Divorce is a good thing–it is! It allows bad marriages to end, especially abusive ones. When Christian preachers wail about divorce statistics I always think, “So what?” Without divorce, women used to be trapped and, as mentioned, were treated as property. Divorce gives women power and society is better for it (men too). Stable marriages are good for kids, but staying in a bad marriage just for the kids doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better for them. Looking back on my childhood, I would have been fine just living with my dad.