End Times Movie Sale

I was perusing ChristianCinema.com, one of my favorite sites to find “faith-based” movies and news and saw this banner ad:

Does that mean the end is near if there is a sale? The ad depicts the four “horses” of the apocalypse and when you click on over you get a selection of movies that is 4 pages long.  Let’s get a list going of End Times Porn. NOTE: I will try to list collections versus individual movies but I know there will be some repeats here. It’s hard to keep track of what movie is in what collection.

1. Left Behind Boxed Set (Oh Kirk, you need a talking to by your TV Dad Jason Seaver.)
2. The Moment After and The Moment After 2 (the sequel was at one time alternately titled: “The Moment After The Moment After”)
3. Six – The Mark Unleashed (sounds like a 666 tattoo is going to jump off your skin and kill people)
4. Escape From Hell (Woo-hoo, you can escape! What are we worried about then?)
5. In the Blink of an Eye
6. The Mark of the Beast (It may be just like getting into a night club. They stamp your hand and it washes off after a few days.)
7. End of the Harvest (Because people are like wheat.)
8. Final Warning (Then stop warning us already!)
9. Revelation (Unoriginal title)
10. Apocalypse (The Collection)
11. Years of the Beast (Wasn’t sure if this was about marriage at first?)
12. Thief in the Night (Collector Series)
13. The Lie of The Serpent (The description indicts Charles Darwin and Hilary Clinton as reawakening communication with the spirit realm. Those two get blamed for everything.)
14. Megiddo: The March to Armageddon (Aw man, when we going to get there? My feet are tired)
15. The Gospel of the AntiChrist Exposed (Sadly, no nudity)
16. Tribulation (Featuring atheist Margot Kidder who says she didn’t know the filmmakers were serious–she has some drug issues I think)
17. The Gathering
18. Miraculous Messages (Given to you on non-miraculous DVD format)
19. The Late, Great Planet Earth (Hal Lindsey’s classic)
20. End Times, How Close Are We? (Dammit, we want to know!)
21. In the Shadow of Babylon: Prophecy Revealed
22. Cracking the Prophetic Code (Who cares about Da Vinci)
23. End Time Revelation
24. Shadow Government (Which would be the Far Right I believe. Rachel Maddow is on the case!)
25. The Messiah: Prophecy Fulfilled
26. The End Times: The Words of Jesus (Speaking for Jesus when he doesn’t speak himself)
27. The Beast of Revelation Identified (It’s Oprah!)
28. Countdown to Eternity (And the band Europe sings “It’s the Final Countdown, da-da-da-daa, da-da da duh dunh…)
29. Mysteries of the Apocalypse (Well, don’t tell everyone, it won’t be a surprise)
30. Inside the Revolution
31. A Distant Thunder (The end times on The Weather Channel.)
32. Israel, Islam and Armageddon (Pushing Islamaphobia)
33. Vanished
34. Final Exit (So you step out a door and off a cliff…)
35. The Temple Mount Dilemma (hmmm, it’s a dilemma)
36. Petra: Israel’s Secret Hiding Place
37. 25 Messianic Signs (At last, we have 25 of them.)
38. Early Warning (That’s all I ask for. I don’t want no Christians steering a bus, plane, train or other vehicle. Fact is, End Times Christians should be banned from driving altogether.)
39. The Evangelism Trilogy (A trilogy? Really?)
40. 7 Signs of Christ’s Return (No way, we already have 25!)
41. Tim LaHaye’s Left Behind Prophecy (Didn’t he make enough money off the books? Has to put out a DVD too?)
42. The March of Prophecy (More marching? I said I was tired.)
43. Babylon: Past, Present, and Future
44. Israel Under Fire (And End Times Christians want more, not peace.)
45. Prophecies: The Future Revealed (How the hell do you know–when the Bible says you shouldn’t even know?)
46. Jerusalem Countdown (Another countdown. Hope they get Dick Clark to do it.)
47. The Prodigal Planet

This isn’t even a full list, but you can see this is a niche market for Christians obsessed with our demise. And some of these Christians are in powerful positions. How do you think believing in End Times affects a political decision? I think this stuff is fun to watch until you consider that numerous people take it literally…then it’s a little scary.